When I think how it started and how it ended, I feel like a whole life has passed. A birth and death, without actually a real life in between. When things are too good to be true, they are. Or they were just an illusion of the mind? A musical illusion, from playing tango to playing a quartet but in the end playing a solo.

French Connection - part 2.

C'est Alsacien.

Superlativos.

A wise man said: our decisions shape our lives.

It sounds comforting for us to think that our decisions are actually the most significant inputs in our paths of life. Think about it, most of our life-changing experiences depend on others, even the biggest one: our birth.

snow white.

Não acredito a heresia que cometi, 
Não acredito que te perdi,
Nunca chorei tanto,
Nunca acreditei no meu pranto.

Eu que sempre quis te proteger,
foi quem mais te machucou sem querer,
e em busca de seu perdão,
sei que será difícil a redenção.

Posso dizer que foi meu 1o verdadeiro amor,
mesmo que no final criou muita dor, 
mas o tom não é de um adeus de lamento
e sim um até logo para ficar atento.

gold guy

Hey, wait... don't worry, I'm with the good guys, I'm from Goldman.

the sea.

Life is pretty much like a sea. We live with a constant level, a level of melancholy which is affected by waves of happiness and hit when those waves break, mostly in your face. One's life is determined then by the frequency of waves and their willingness to break. The people that surround us, they are the fish and water plants and rocks, meaning that they may affect us during a part of our lives or during the whole period of our existence, but in the end, it doesn't matter. We are determined to be alone, because we live together but we die as we are born, alone.

life.

Tom walked to her apartment intoxicated by the promise of the evening. He believed that, for the first time, his expectatioins would align with reality.

http://www.vimeo.com/7580722

Dead banafishbowl dream.

Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.

here we go again.

Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.

People's intimate life is so horrendous. I have trouble to think that there isn't eternity in our lives, loves and stories. Our stories are atrocious, lack compassion and real emotion. It's just a sequential sequence of unjoint events, due to lust, hubris and greed.

I'm sensitive to these issues, because I believe there's always something good lurking around... but it ain't. Life is but a dream.

um amor incessante

um disturbio irritante

uma paixao desprecavida

uma dor despercebida

emotions

The little thread that holds the essence of life: emotions.
They are what makes life worth the effort of avoiding death,
They are what makes life worth the relentless fear of death.

Inertia

It`s bound to be broken, but still, it bugs me. Hard throbbing heart, thinking about something I didn`t feel for quite some time. Need to wear off these sensations, become numb again... at least for a while. My stomach aches while hearing the songs that make me think, to wonder, dream. There are no tears falling out of my eyes, because their falling into my soul. A silent, nasty inertia.

an intimate moment.

My inherent sadness has hit me, hard to feel anything at all. It's just a matter of days until  it wears off, but right now... it's hard even to think, because thinking is the root of all sadness. People who don't think aren't aware of their own pointless existence and therefore can't feel bad about it. 

Then again, without the smarts, can't gain the freedom of human vanity.
In the end, it's all the same and same again, endless circle of human life.

Life's worth the uncertainty of death

what's the value in it?